In life, I can’t count the times that he inspired me, cracked me up, saved my butt, took me on an adventures in his airplane, taught me something I never knew, watched the history and nature channels with me, sang to me on the phone, ate my cooking, celebrated with me, hugged me and made me feel important, beautiful and ALIVE.
My life changed crazy style after he returned to Heaven. The thought of losing him when I knew he was going forced me to seek the help of several spiritual teachers and healers. I had no idea how to let go of him and spent months before he passed in tears and therapy. Have you ever had a favorite person? Well, aside from my baby and hubby — Papa was mine.
To most of us in the family, Papa was indestructable. I mean, he had health problems, and had been through surgeries — but he battled everything, and never stopped joking around.
So, one night when I was woken up by a massive, bright rainbow emanating from my apartment ceiling, and Papa’s spirit standing inside of it telling me that he wanted to go — I knew the time was soon, and I did what most people would do. I freaked out.
The whole family was with him when he left for God. His last words to me were ” You’re here.” and “No, don’t cry.” And , with all my deep beliefs and faith, I worried that may be the last time I saw him.
I had no idea this was going to happen, but his passing has provided me some of my most important life lessons.
The next time I saw him, he was 10 years younger and he wanted me to know that. He assured me that he was happy and showed me pictures of other family members who are also very happy. He tells me that he loves to show himself to my Nani, his wife — who he assures me , ignores him with an inner laugh.
It was Papa’s spirit who came to me last New Year’s Eve and told me that I would never again feel pain like I felt when my son was sick with autism. He also mentioned that my days of painful lessons were behind me, and he hasn’t been wrong yet. It’s not that I don’t go through challenges.. Boy I do. But, I simply understand now how to live through them.
Papa didn’t leave. He didn’t “go” anywhere. Really, he simply let go of his body and human pains. His spirit expanded so that he can experience deeper joy. I am closer to him now than I ever could be in life, because now there are absolutely no barriers between us. It’s really pretty awesome.
I asked Papa if he was going to come back… reincarnate, and he won’t tell me. Ha ha, just like him. For now, he assures me that his passing was really his choice, and he is digging it. He has no worries. And man, he looks great.
Last year we had a gas leak, and Papa’s spirit arrived to warn us and tell us to get out. He has fixed our sink drain when I called upon his knowledge. He has repaired electricity when I’ve asked… he always loved to fix things.
Apparently, according to my son, he also has stolen some of Dougie’s toys. If I had any doubts of the existence of Papa’s spirit in my life, my 6-year old would be my validation.
January 3rd was Papa’s birthday, and my little family ( the Dougs and I) always celebrate it.
I wanted to share today, because “things are brighter now” (our Blissed Life tagline) were the words Papa whispered in my ear Last New Year’s Eve as I sat on my bedroom floor writing my goals for the year. It means so much to me.
Things are brighter for him in ways that we little earthlings cannot even understand. But things are so much better for me now because I know that life never ends. I really know that now.
So, what better time to celebrate that than on the anniversary of Papa’s birth into this life. Things definitely are brighter now.
Happy Birthday Papa I love you so much. There will be cake here.