What is Your Biggest Fear?
Mine is that I don’t have the right words to articulate my message. That I won’t be able to reach those who need me, and ultimately I’ll be alone — making no impact. I’m laughing looking at the words I just wrote. But, in some ways these words are very true. And, they are the biggest reason for my not living up to my potential.
How about you? What is truly holding you back? Do you know? Maybe you can’t pinpoint it just yet. But, you feel it. You know something is there. Something worth grasping — if it means setting you free. Right?
Our brains are supremely programmable, a fact that can either squash our BLISS potential, or help us rock out in the most authentic way possible. When I say that our brains are programmable, I mean that, much like computers — our brains work in predictable patterns. Patterns that we live by. And, what creates the programs at the core is our emotional experiences. When we have an emotional experience, we create memory, and the memory locks neurons in our brains that tell us to continue on that pattern. In fact, that becomes our truth.
Let’s say, for example, on a hot summer’s day, you grab your friend’s water bottle, and take in a huge grateful gulp — only to be stung on the tongue by a bee. That’s emotional huh? Your brain receives a message linking the pain to the unconscious grabbing of water and the serious stinging of bee power. In the future, that memory, even if not in the foreground of your mind — will dictate how you go about grabbing a drink of water. Most likely, you will think twice before simply drinking from someone else’s glass. Most likely, you will create a fear of bees, even if it’s a small fear. However, one fear constricts your body and leads to more fears.
When you are constricted, you are blocked from doing and blocked from receiving. Not good.
The work I do with clients allows me to see just how powerful one seemingly insignificant emotion can be if we don’t fully release it in the moment it occurs. But, no one teaches us this. So, many of us are walking around with programming based on fear that stops us from being our ultimate amazing selves.
Can you see how being constricted due to one fear can lead you to be fearful of other things? Our fears are meant to protect us. They come from our root chakra, which is our ingrained energetic source for the feelings of safety and security. If flowing properly, all emotions have a role in keeping us healthy and balanced.
If we legitimately fear bees (because of our emotional experience), our brains will signal us to remain safe by staying away from bees. In some ways this helps us survive. But, it’s also unrealistic at it’s core. Unless we have a serious bee allergy. This constricted way of being results in our following experiences being constricted or blocked experiences. That means,we can’t see all sides of it, we can’t receive the lessons, we can’t take the actions necessary to move forward.
But, there is a way to really THRIVE on the fact that we are programmable. There is a way to use your current fears to lead you into your next success. Lately, I’m noticing just how many deeply ingrained programs (or ways of being) I have that are blocking my success. My breakthroughs are so exponential, that I can’t help myself but share.
I teach my clients to be with their emotions. As we go through potential blocks or fears that they may have, I lead them into being with an emotion for as long as they need. And, when they are ready to really release it, that’s when we let it go. It can take an hour. It can take longer. That’s okay. Often, we need to revisit childhood memories of not receiving basic needs, or being told that they are unworthy. We all have such valid reasons that if we could bank off of victimhood, we’d be millionaires. All of us. Our reasons are so valid. But, that’s not why we are here, is it?
- I’m here to wake up and assist in the awakening of our planet. What are you here for? How does it make you feel when I ask that?
- Be with THAT emotion.
- Take a breath in and out, and SLOW down with that emotion. Even if it’s excitement. Slow your roll with it. See, in your mind’s eye, YOU in that emotional state.
- Decide: is this an emotion that will serve me if I keep it here?
See? Your programmable brain is amazing. You can decide what programs to keep. And, you can reevaluate any time.
- Now, can you see yourself doing what you love to do… call it your purpose or part of your purpose? If not, great! Stop there and be with THAT emotion.
- If yes, take some time to be with that visual until you hit a fear. And, when you do, love the heck out of that fear. It has served you and protected you in ways you’ve needed until now. See that. And, actually feel the fear. Where in your body is it held? Put your hands on that space and continue to BE.
- For as long as you need, allow that fear to reside within you. See and feel it for all that it is. Maybe it brings up memories. Get to know yourself and where this comes from.
- Then, say out loud to yourself “My fear is…” or “I fear…” And, if you’re brave, and I know you are — you can say “I love my fear because…”
- Let that love lead you to your next space. Stay with it until the love of fear becomes the love of you. You can say “I love me because…..” or “I love me.” Each time, allow yourself to see what you are saying come to life in your imagination.
You want your fear to shift on its own, so be aware when an emotional shift occurs. This can come in the form of a smile. In fact, I often guide my clients to wait for a smile. But it can also be a sense of relief. Your body might relax out of the constriction of the fear. Your shoulders might sink down. Simply witness whatever happens for you that is clearly NOT FEAR.
If your intention is to release your fear, you will need to replace it with another program that works better for you. You will need to see how useless it is in your life now. And, this visualization will likely show you how you really don’t need that fear anymore.
- See the new you, saying out loud your new affirmation. Consider how you really want to feel. Do you want to feel free? Safe? Joy?
- Mine is “I’m a writer whose words touch and heal those who read them. I am necessary and doing a great job by simply writing what’s in my heart.” Or, simply put — “I perfectly articulate my message, and that heals people.” Or even simpler, the word “writer” alone makes me feel powerful. And, I can also shift it into the word “powerful” What’s yours?
- Be with this “re-newed you” affirmation until another emotional shift occurs.
- Seal in that new affirmation. You need to make certain that you believe it. Let’s activate a whole brain state to do that. Simply cross your right arm over your chest and touch your left shoulder, and do the opposite with your left arm. Follow suit with your ankles — cross them over each other, and go for the way it feels LEAST comfy.
- Repeat your affirmation to yourself and make it rock. Feel the shift. Be with it until you believe it.
A whole-brain state is the idea of activating both sides of your brain. When we have an overwhelm of one feeling, or an irrational dependance on one emotion or thought — most likely we are reliant on one part of our brains. Any time we cross meridians of our body, right arm on left shoulder and left arm on right shoulder for example…. we activate a whole-brain-state. Any time you are taking in new information, you want to make sure you are taking it on with your whole brain. Binaural beats, deep breathing, yoga and ecstatic dance are some other ways I do this. To really up the juice on this exercise, you can use binaural beats in the background. If you came to my healing room, I’d hook you up to the binaural beats on my zero gravity chair, and I’d use helpful tools like sage to absorb those emotions as they leave and lavender oil to help you visualize. It would be fun! You can do these things for yourself too.
- Finally, be completely in your new thought. Stay with it until you’re done. You’ll know.
- Uncross your arms and legs. Put your hands in prayer position, creating a circuit of flowing energy. No longer will the energy be stuck. Give your gratitudes, and feel that smile.
- Take action: go out into the world in your new energy. See the options to express your new patterns. If opportunity comes up to get back into the same fear, be glad you noticed it –and say your affirmation again. The pattern will dissolve as your actions remind your brain that you are safe. It’ll never again surface in the same way because now you are aware of it. You just have to believe it. Faking it will not work.
You don’t have to fear your fears anymore. Now, you know that they have protected you, and can easily be replaced with a little conscious action. For that, you are awakening and I am doing my job. Thank you for being there for me.
You can do a similar exercise for any stuck emotion. And, if you lack a partner to do it with you, you can simply begin with the emotion that is predominant and continue to allow it to unfold for you.
This week, I saw the fears that kept me procrastinating. The perfectionism bug I caught a long time ago lead me to feel I just can’t get my words right. How “perfect” for a writer who is trying to release her first real book punished under her own name, huh? I’ve ghost- written books much much faster. And, although I shared that I fear I don’t have the right words, those fears come from other experiences that I have dug into for myself. I decided that the best action step for me to take was to write about it, since writing was part of the fear.
You need to take action too. What is truly the best action step for you? This is not just woo woo work. The greatest part of being human is that we have this physical density to explore. We get to materialize things. Once we connect with our brains on this level, we unlock very important aspects of ourselves that most people just don’t access. With that comes a big responsibility. You are important. Can you imagine how much better the world will be when you take action on that re-newed you? Good. Imagine it and BE IT!
I dedicate this post to my soul sister and spirit daughter Brie Marie who was there when I asked what her deepest fear was, because I really needed to address mine. Mirrors.