This post was originally published in January 2015.
Bliss does not come from having a life of sweet tea and roses all day. At least it hasn’t for me. If you were simply born BLISSY and never had a bad thought enter your head, I’m sure you are either from another planet, or you are certainly an enlightened being.
For me, I become more awake each day. For me, the more awake I become the more I notice some of what you would call that “dark stuff.” Stuff that I’ve stuffed down, awaiting the right time to explode. And guess what? Now’s that time!
We are all in an integration period where we are bringing back skills, memories, characteristics, patterns, and anything we need from our past and past lives in order to become more FULLY ALIVE in this life.
We have abilities that we haven’t tapped into. We have much more control over our lives. We can be much more physically healthy and happy.
At the beginning of 2014, I set the intention to fully step into my role as a psychic. I really desired to fully activate my ability. I could sense there were things locked inside. And, then on Dec 20, 2014, I set the intention to fully activate my health.
Now, you may be wondering why this post is titled “Talking Shit and Emanating Bliss.” So here we go. People have been talking some wild shit about me. I mean everything from how bad of a mother I am, to false judgments about everything I choose to do with my time and energy. You see, I’ve grown what most would call a thick skin. And I learned how not to let this bother me.
In fact, I’ve been able to learn from it my whole life. I’ve been able to take judgments, even when they were not coming from the heart, and find the use in them. For my whole life, a great part of my learning has come from the people who put me down. Whenever I have been told I couldn’t do it, I did it.
It was all a part of my programming. The patterns I lived by because experiences led me to believe it was the only way to survive. I set up walls where I needed to and I could turn any person’s “negative” comment into a positive one.
But, you know what I didn’t do? I didn’t fully allow the pain to process. I’ve always just known deep down that this life is a game, and that everyone in mine is a great teacher. Whether they are laughing on the phone to someone about how shitty of a person I am, or mocking my way of being, they are teaching me. They are teaching me what I may be thinking about myself in the depths of my shadows. They are teaching me what they may be thinking of themselves. And, furthermore, at this point, they are teaching me where that program is coming from and how I can release it. So, I’ve never blamed people for hating on me. I’ve always taken the lesson to myself. AND BLAMED MYSELF. Because I didn’t properly release those emotions, or learn how to stand in my power and create more solid boundaries, I held that blame inside. And it hurt. And it caused physical pain.
I feel that we cannot pretend that we don’t care what other people feel about us. We need to go through the journey of self discovery that allows us to feel solid first. And even then, it might hurt. And, we simply need to learn what to do with that hurt. Sometimes, we need to admit it’s shitty. We are human. Our emotions are gifts. All of them. And, none of them last forever.
I’ve always just known I’d be okay. So, I stuffed down the “pain” to be dealt with when I had the “time” and the “tools.”
So, the recent shit-talking is inspiring so much BLISS and GROWTH for my sweet sweet soul. You know why? Because I am finally releasing my rage. I am angry that I could be so misunderstood. I am angry that while I spend zero time spreading gossip, I am the subject of much of it. I’m pissed. It makes me want to scream. And so I do. I would have thought that since I don’t do it, that it’s not done to me.
I am finally getting down and deep within myself and letting out those stuck emotions. Finally my fire is coming from my third chakra and not my throat. A true block is being released.
I’ve always been grateful for those who put me down, because I’ve considered them inspirations for many of my greatest accomplishments. Including my amazing, deeply connected marriage and my healthy, connected children. The nay-sayers have been my teachers. And, I do love them. Because I have been good at learning this way and have not consciously requested other ways of learning until now, pretty much all of my greatest experiences and accomplishments have come from first being dis-owned, kicked out and ripped a new one, so to speak (lol).
I say all of these things with a slight bit of humor. Because I’m still me. I still see the game in it. I still see your higher self and I know you must feel devastated after you talk about someone like that. Especially someone as beautiful and amazing as me. Knowing that we are mirrors, I also see your beauty. But, as I flow through my darkness, my rage, my fears and my pain I am creating more powerful boundaries that don’t allow this in. That doesn’t mean you don’t still have the choice to speak your mind and create your judgements. It means that I will no longer need it for my learning.
I share this here with you because I believe I am not the only one experiencing this. We are all expanding our consciousness. This is a refining period for me. I’m going back and cleaning up things that no longer work, and re-activating my brain on so many levels. This way, I have more energy to listen to that inner guidance. I have more energy to spread my gifts. And, I have more energy to be loving to me and to my children. My heart is so full of LOVE. But there truly is so much more. The emotional pain I’ve stuffed down is mind-blowing. And, it has stopped me from being completely me. I didn’t realize this until now. I kept whispering to myself (sometimes literally), “next time, next time.” I’ll get it next time. I’ll allow myself full BLISS next time. Now is the only time it could surface. Now, that I have this deep knowing and deep BLISS. This is the only time I’d be able to handle completely cleaning up my life. And completely releasing. YUM!!!!
Things only seem big when they are stuffed away and kept in the dark. The dark side of us would never be so dark if we would simply shed our light on it. Up to this point, people talking shit about me has been a trigger for me to hold in my power. For me to play small and not share my gifts fully. For me to think, maybe they’re right. For me to be quiet and hold it in, or for me to say something offensive and leave without truly dealing. Every time I felt this trigger, I’d feel a stab in my right side. A few years ago, I shared here that I had a vivid past life recall of being stabbed right there. Recently, I was gifted with the experience of having that recall again while in the vicinity of the person who stabbed me in that past life. I was able to see and feel that even though my heart forgives, my body remembers. And, I must give my body a chance to align with my mind, spirit and soul.
True forgiveness is the realization that there is nothing to forgive. I was born knowing this. And, now I am allowing that knowing to sink deeper within me. To completely surround me. I forgive myself for allowing such hard lessons. I forgive myself for not being easily understood. And, I am so grateful that my precious precious heart has the capacity to LOVE beyond the earthly actions of others toward me. This heart of mine emanates BLISS. And, that vibration is helping me let go. Goodbye shit talkers. I love you. I forgive you. And, I’m so freaken’ stoked to attract better! YUM YUM YUM!
Join me in this amazing journey…. get our your journals and record synchronicities. Record your dreams. Take time for you! Reach out for help.
In my book, I share what I didn’t share here. That when I declared my intention to reach better health, I woke the very next morning with a large tumor protruding out my right side. Right in the place where I had the past life recall of being stabbed. Right in the spot where I always felt pain when someone was judging me or attempting to put me down. I healed that lump. It took a year, but, I healed it. This particular experience was so poignant for me, because it allowed me to see what energy formed that lump.
My email is Gina@BlissedLife.com
More to Come,