I spend lots of time coming to realizations about how my life has been so beautifully laid out for me. I’m forever finding reason and more deeply understanding what I’m doing here. It’s pretty rad!
I love people. I love everything about them. I love how quirky people push the norm and how rigid people get stuff done and occasionally freak out. I love curly-haired people and people of different colors. I love poets and singers and artists and cooks. I love how some people completely create their own way in the world. I love our differences and our samenesses. I love making friends and getting to know what makes someone else tick.
During a recent past-life reading, I discovered that I’ve had many lifetimes on other planets, so that may explain why I’ve somehow emotionally disconnected from those people who shun me. My earlier life experiences with people who really don’t desire me in their lives was really interesting.Very interesting for someone quite enthralled with the intricacies of the human experience.
I’ve been able to observe what would seem like uncomfortable instances almost from an out-of-body perspective. This caused my physical body to often act on “auto-pilot,” and really left a confusing void between my thoughts and emotions. On one hand, almost as naively as a child, I did not understand why anyone wouldn’t like me ( 🙂 ), and on the other hand, I found it rather amusing… like watching a play. Then, later on, and sometimes way later — I’d feel unexplainable pain that I had no idea how to handle.
And, now that I’ve come to so much healing in my life, I thought I’d explore what may have been happening for me all along.
Firstly: Why We All Just Don’t Get Along from the Get-Go
This is quite difficult to grasp for some of us. But, consider that most of us live in a world of duality. There is good and evil. Right and wrong. And, thousands of contradictory thoughts in-between. The more I open my heart to the abundance of our human power, the more I see that this is for a reason.
Everything we do here is about soul growth. We designed our existence to experience this duality because it springs us forward. Duality can breed anger, doubt and worry. And, the anger and passion ignites us. The doubt makes us think. They are catalysts– emotions that spark change. If we use them correctly.
What great novels were written out of the need to release pain? How many songs pay tribute to the artist’s” dark night of the soul?”
The life I’ve had since we began to help Dougie heal from the toxic overload of autism, lead me to feel that we chose to incarnate here on earth in order to expand our consciousness, activate our power and GET BACK TO THE ONE-NESS.
When someone gets you angry enough times, you’ll eventually learn to express your purpose and power with grace. Even if your truth means that you need to step away from some people. And, as you express and “work” through these moments of pain, they become less painful. You become more compassionate and light. And, you begin to feel that divine spark ignite.
Maybe one day we really all can get along, but for now — certain people will personify those agitating energies you need to face.
If you are someone who blames others for your feelings or predicament, you may have a long way to go to see your true beauty. You may attract people who blame you for things you didn’t actually do.
And, when I say “blame,” I simply mean when you don’t take full responsibility for your life. When you think something in your life depends on someone else. Of course, because we are one, it would be crazy to imply we don’t have an effect on one-another. But, you have power over your emotions. You can chose to use them instead of allowing them to use you.
If you are somebody who doubts yourself, you may attract people who criticize you for what you hold most important.
One day these people will hit your boiling point, and your soul will grow. And, you will know that everything they ever said about you was false because you are divinely beautiful and deeply important to all of us.
I’ve looked my critics in the eyes on many occasions and thought “he/she doesn’t really feel that way. What is making her act this way?” And, oh how often I cried because life would just be so much more pleasant if everyone JUST LOVED all the time.
But, I LOVE LOVE
I’m so comfortable with love. It flows so freely to me and through me. I came pre-programmed to love. Maybe I’m from Venus. As a child, I completely lived in my own Fantasy Land filled with love and exaggerated by my family who showered me with affection. Any un-love was quickly transmuted into my Dream Land. Though there were lots of tears in those days as I could feel the sadness of those around me.
Then it came time for me to learn more earthly things. Things that would help me live better in my body. I got physically ill and needed to care for my health. I became a mom and needed to create a safe, nurturing environment for my son. I needed to more deeply care for another person’s material needs. Get my career and finances in order. And, although I was still happy and in LOVE, I came down from my cloud. And crap did it hurt!
Since knowing my son Dougie, Ive gone on my own journey through those lower more dense earthly energies inside myself.
Because of my need to be the best mom I could be, I’ve gotten to really dig in and become one with my body and my human emotions. And, the more awake me began experiencing a steady stream of serious un-love from many outside sources as soon as I really came into my Being.
I found people who blamed me, who hated on me and who talked behind my back. And, I’m not known for standing still too long. I had to do something about it. And, I tried everything that the self-help books would tell you to do. I came at it from LOVE, mostly. Never worked. I tried and tried and tried. But, seriously, I didn’t know what I was supposed to be trying for. Was I to convince naysayers of my awesomeness or my sorrow for hurting them? Was I to try to forgive? Was I to try to make them my friends? It took so much practice and what I thought was failure for me to get effing angry and simply step into my truth. A truth I never knew existed.
Loving My Anger
As I came to understand what was making me angry, I found my third chakra (power center) opening. I found my passion for life renewed. And , I began to feel so much better health-wise, too. It’s no wonder I suffered so many digestive problems in the past. I was terrified to really get angry. So, of course it took a lot to make it happen.
Those amazing souls who have chosen this lifetime to help me come into my power by trying to hold me down. Bless them!
Who is doing this for you? Who represents a lesson you’ve needed to learn? Ever think of sending them love instead of resentment? I always sent love before. But now I send it from a place that fully understands the lower vibrations. And, once you embrace fear and anger, the stigma they hold disappears.
Sometimes, we have really rocky relationships with other people who have come here to help us grow. Perhaps, before we incarnated here, we made an agreement on the other side, that they would be responsible for making us cry and think and flip out… just so we could reach our destiny. How selfless! This is why we can never fully understand just how special and necessary we all are. Our soul contracts link us to those who we need to work with in this lifetime. But, once you get the message you make that work flow. Then it gets yummy. Then you can view each situation from above without losing. Without disconnecting.
Of course I no longer need those “teachers” so close. My new lessons have new teachers. And, honestly, they are much more comfortable lessons. I’ve quickly learned how to view anger as a protective device that fuels my thoughts for a moment. Then, I transmute it. I use it for something I really want. And, of course now that I’ve stepped into my body, I no longer need to be reminded of my beauty and power through hard lessons and dense emotions. I can be angry for a moment or as long as I need to be. But, since I’ve allowed this vibration into my Being… this very natural human vibration — I am free. I see the other side of it. I get to experience passion and power more deeply.
As we welcome in our collective feminine power, we are all reminded of our humanity and what that means for the emotions of our lower chakras. How will you embrace these in your life?