From fall 2011
I thought I would’ve waited much longer to write this post. Usually, I like to get a good distance from my challenging moments before I share their messages with you. But, it seems that that this last season’s happenings have turned out to be something that inspired the greatest consciousness shift I’ve ever experienced. Since that’s what this site is all about, I know it will help us all if I share it now.
My life has been full force into Bliss Consciousness since at least the time when we really discovered that Dougie was healing from autism, and our family would thrive. This was about the same time that messages from guides and angels became a constant presence in my life, and I knew Everything is just as it should be. Somewhere around 2008, I read Elkhart Tolle, Louise Hay, discovered Abraham Hicks and decided that loving myself was an option. I even began to feel love for myself.
Since then, I endured a real-time week-long journey into my past lives — where I saw many of the places and people I’ve been. This included 24 straight hours in a trance-state where spirit both spoke through me and shared insights with me about my purpose, my health, and messages for friends that all proved to be true. I’ve had seizures. I‘ve experienced great healing of physical illness through diet change, energy healing and positive affirmations. I’ve spent days without money for food. Months without rent money. Changed careers. Hit ultimate financial lows and highs. Connected with amazing people on the same path. I’ve struggled through the disapproval of family members – wondering how I could remedy the pain that they inflicted on me just for being me. And, I’ve felt an increasing urge of gratitude pouring through me for all of these experiences. I would love the easy way out. I would. But, I’ve been programmed for the hard lessons and there has been so much joy through these challenges. I’ve recently been allowing for that thought-reprogramming to take place too 🙂
I began 2011 knowing that this was my year. And, by this time, I was more comfortable than ever with my psychic and healing gifts and how they play a role in my purpose here. My guides told me that I am here to help raise consciousness. The details by which I do that are my choice. But, I’ve noticed that I get instant karmic rewards when I make the choices that mean standing in my own power.
This week, I have finally learned that standing in my own power and the ultimate truth that we are all one – brings me closer to God, makes me feel eternally protected and grateful, and also fills me with whatever I need to keep doing my work. This week that translated into a boatload of funding for our Bliss Tour, excellent chiropractic work to help heal us from our car accident, a humongous increase in my psychic ability, a brand new iPad which makes business infinitudes easier, great sushi dinners with friends, angel-inspired encounters with government institutions, amazing and very informative dreams, and most importantly, a sense of inner peace that I never had before.
And I thought I was already pretty Blissy.
This past summer really marked the beginning of the rest of our lives as healers and earth-loving consciousness boosters. We believe that when you chose to live a life in service of humanity, everything should be universally provided. It only takes allowing the flow. It always proves right for us. So, we came out to Chicago to buy an RV for living, working and traveling. So that we can share and explore more of our purpose with you. This carefully crafted choice also reduces our expenses by 2/3 AND allows us to completely eliminate bills for things that harm the earth (working on the gasoline issue).
Our extended families live here. And, they met us with instant opposition. I’d forgotten that not everyone lives divinely inspired lives because they block that inspiration. They block their beauty. Sure, I too have blocked my beauty for so long…. Even now, I’m still feeling it more, daily.
I’d forgotten that we left Chicago having been wrongfully judged and blamed in the first place. I’d forgotten that most of the people we know here are not in agreement with our lives. Some of them wish us harm. Some spend time disapproving of us. We’ve been here for what seems like too long for my heart, but the reasons are so divinely amazing. I needed a breakthrough and I got one.
I will recap the events that I thought broke my heart, so that I can more quickly get to the Blissy part. 12 people in my friends and family passed away in the last 6 months. Most were younger than me. 2 were people who asked me for help, but didn’t find the time to make the changes I suggested even though they wanted to. 1 was a baby cousin who I thought was the absolute most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen, and her passing was accidental. Many of these people passed from cancers that grew almost overnight, and were not caused by smoking, overeating, or heredity.
Some family members have admitted loudly and angrily that they believe with all of their hearts that I am being manipulated, and therefore won’t accept me in their lives unless I make the changes they need for me to be acceptable to them. This may include divorcing the man God and Goddess sent to be with me on our Blissful mission. I received a text from a relative whom I had hugged in tears one month prior, while promising that nothing should ever come between us — warning me never to contact him again until I grow up. Another relative accidentally called me, and hung up right away when I told him I love him. I gotta tell you right now that the rumors got so bogus, I soon began to laugh at them. I’ve been called lazy, disrespectful, and “psychic” oooooooh!
Seems that my bliss doesn’t equal bliss by their standards. They equate love with worry and see me as a great target for their blame and baggage. Where people only passive-aggressively put me down in the past, the poop hit the fan this summer, baby.
I accidentally cut off my finger-tip one nigh on a razor, while fishing through a toiletry bag. And screamed at the top of my lungs at the moment – only to find that the 3 in-laws in the room next-door didn’t budge. Didn’t ask what happened. I was given a third-party account about how much of burden I am to the in-laws. I overheard that I do not take care of Dougie like I should. I got into a painful car accident. While we remodel our RV, we’re currently staying with some extended family who do not like me or love me and would rather I was gone. And, for the icing on the power-challenging cake- my son was harmed by someone close to the family, and we were chastised for even addressing the matter. To endure, because I know that I am always in the right place at the right time, I send myself and them love, light, protection, forgiveness and Reiki. I call upon the violet flame. I surround my thoughts with people I love and who love me. I have daily convos with St. Claire and St. Francis. And, I stay out of the energy field of people who have wrongfully accused me of being a burden. I send love in silence and I spend most hours away while getting my life lived. In other words, i live in a self-created light bubble. But, stuff was starting to painfully creep in.
Saturday evening was the most lovely amazing experience. Someone who wrongfully blamed me for being in their way, and hasn’t spoken to me in 6 weeks, passive-aggressively said I was rude (for not speaking to her). Hahahahahaha. This was either rock bottom or nirvana depending on how I look at it.
I didn’t at all connect with that accusation. It didn’t feel real. Think, false timeline stuff. I see these false realities all around me these days. But, I allowed myself to respond to her passive-aggressively by asking my husband out loud if we could leave. But, I quickly realized the un-bliss in my reaction and turned it around right away. Doug would’ve taken me anywhere I wanted to go. But, both of us were crazy crashed after a day of working on the rv and with clients –our bodies needed to rest. That’s when my guides appeared around me. It was as if they were holding me up…. creating a backbone.
As long as I know that this person’s views of me are really not my concern and by no means define who I am, I had no reasons to leave that night. What was my need for being passive-aggressive? Did I want to cause her pain because her words stung me? No, I didn’t. I don’t wish her harm, I don’t care what she thinks of me. Woah ! Have you any idea what a breakthrough this is for me? I’ve always cared about what others think. I’ve always want to please. While that thought pattern has healed over the years, I’ve never allowed myself to feel so completely in the right despite being accused, as I did the other night.
I’ve been done fighting for a while now. I don’t really argue angrily with anyone. But, silence says so much. I was previously programmed for my silence to say that I am but a little piece of poo on the grand green mountain of abundance that was those people who put me down.
Saturday night for me was about giving myself permission to be me, and whatever that means is fine. And, it can change/ It’s permission to let my light shine no matter what. I stayed because it was the right thing to do at the time. No one should endure such criticism, because it can take energy away from the Bliss Work we are here for. The point is that for whatever reason, I needed that particular challenge to really just feel awesome for being me.
Knowing that I am only bringing light into this world. I am only a mirror for those who judge me. And this was apparent on emotional and logical levels.
Wow! I’ve waited longer than my whole life to feel this way. That person, who has been in my life for centuries as a murderer and vibe stifler, just became one of my most valuable teachers. And who wouldn’t love their teachers? She represents my shadow and my doubts. And she brought all my fears out to the surface. I’ve always been over-cautious of being rude or hurting people’s feelings. I thought it was what would make me a good person. I thought I had to belittle me in order to serve them. This was a pattern I set long ago, and lived with unconsciously.
I’m on this huge spiritual ride, and I know that the Universe will clear out all the junk that I don’t address myself. Those self-doubts were serious. They were deep. Nobody said anything about me that I didn’t secretly worry about myself anyway.
Everything that occurred in my life this summer happened only to help raise me up. There is no death or time. Energies that represent greed, fear anger, doubt, worry, shame, etc are fizzling away. Naturally, they grasp for life by stifling the ones who are here to change things. They resist change. It’s been a challenge for me because the people involved were people I cared about more than anyone (besides Doug and Dougie). The Universe had to get through to me somehow.
After a few days, I’ve been able to think about this whole situation and laugh…Rather abundantly too. I mean, think about how people really look when they are putting you down. When they are scowling their faces or making a point to judge you and ‘hate on you’ while you Bliss out with all of the miracles in your life. Here I am helping people on the other side of the globe heal a hole in the heart, while worrying that my Eco-fied priorities bug the heck out of people who find money, cars and exclusivity to be their thang. They don’t care enough about me to hate me. I know their blaming and poo-throwing is because they are uncomfy with themselves. How silly am I? And, how silly are they?
We all play this silly game so we can learn.
It’s time for great change and great courage. Time to step into our power. You will know you have done the right thing if your truth doesn’t involve hurting anyone else in any way. Of course that is not to say that people won’t get hurt or blame you for it. But, you must know in your heart that your intentions are pure. Then, stand in the power of that purity and accept the gifts the Universe dishes out for folks who stand up for what is right. There are always signs and rewards. After my decision not to run from the false a accusations, I did some energy work on myself. Then, I was gifted with amazing new levels of psychic accuracy. I can only interpret that to mean that my path is being cleared of gunk that used to cloud my mind. There is so much freedom in finding that balance.
I’m so grateful for this summer and am so excited for Today!
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Photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/dougellis/65313785/