Dream: Shadow-Self Embracing with Jesus (Part 1)

Stained glass at St John the Baptist's Anglica... Stained glass at St John the Baptist’s Anglican Church http://www.stjohnsashfield.org.au, Ashfield, New South Wales. Illustrates Jesus’ description of himself “I am the Good Shepherd” (from the Gospel of John, chapter 10, verse 11). This version of the image shows the detail of his face. The memorial window is also captioned: “To the Glory of God and in Loving Memory of William Wright. Died 6th November, 1932. Aged 70 Yrs.” (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Dreams are very important to me and my work. It is in our dreams that we let go of the human (3 dimensional world) limitations that keep us from knowing our true selves. As I travel my path and continue to help others on theirs, I thought it would be helpful to share some of my dreams with you. I’ve been so close to Jesus (in the most non-religious way imaginable) since I was a child. He has physically held me and guided me through the craziest and most confusing times. This post is not to offend anyone else’s interpretation of who Jesus is. 

Last night, I lay stuck in my bed — completely unable to move. I had an eerie feeling in my gut. Doug and Dougie were cuddled up in the bed beside mine, snoozing perfectly, and I wanted so desperately to call to them and to be next to them. We’ve been sleeping in someone’s basement on 2 mattresses on the floor until while we finish our house on wheels. I was beginning to feel mentally exhausted from this and longing for that sense of HOME that was inches away from me. I tried lifting my head to no avail.  My neck felt like lead. My forehead burned. Fear was creeping up from my feet to head, but I didn’t know exactly why. I tried lifting my hands, but a tremendous weight held me down. And my stomach sank even more.

Out of the half-open doorway came a woman who I knew to be myself. She looked quite evil though. And her hair was much longer. “I must be dreaming,” I thought. And, at that time, I realized that I REALLY could not speak. This wasn’t something temporary. I was screaming in my mind. If this was a dream, I was supposed to have a guide. I always have guides during my most painful dreams. “Where is my guide?” I thought very loudly. And, “why was I so afraid of myself?” And, “was she really me?”  I could tell her intentions were dark.

She sat on the edge of the bed where my husband and son slept. And, she raised her hands above their heads, as if to put some dark spell on them. She stared directly at me the entire time. I bit my tongue. I do this in dreams to wake myself up in emergency cases. I felt the bite on my tongue, but it didn’t wake me. I knew I was sleeping too deeply. The pain I felt was in my mind only, because I couldn’t move. So, with the shadow-me staring me down and threatening my loved ones, I began to use my mind to hurt myself even more — with hopes of waking my physical body. I imagined pinching and scratching at my arms and squeezing my hands. That only worked to cause me more pain. I gave up trying to hurt myself.

At that moment I felt a warmth that told me I was being held by Jesus. And, I heard his voice. He assured me that the woman was me. My shadow. With him there, my fears began fading, but I still had to save my men. She continued hovering over Doug and Dougie with her ill intentions. Jesus held me more and filled me with a violet light that I knew I had to transfer to the shadow me. She understood my thoughts, so talking to her was unnecessary.

Again, I tried talking with my voice, only to become more drained and frustrated. My heart felt that this was some kind of test. I KNEW how to reach her without words or movement, but still I used up all of my physical strength and resources before I would even admit my other abilities to myself. Violet light seeped through my hand chakras to her heart. She didn’t budge. My spirit began lifting off my body. Jesus nodded and helped me as my soul peeled from the paralyzed flesh and bones on the bed.  I didn’t want to fully let go. I kept resisting and having to start over. Then, finally I hovered over her. I expanded the violet light to create a bubble around her. She didn’t budge, but she still hadn’t hurt my guys, so I was gaining hope and confidence. “ You love Jesus,” I told her with my mind. She barely flinched. “ You love him and he is here to help you. He will comfort you.” She was getting fired up.

Jesus comforted me and told me I was doing a great job. But, we had to kick up the pace a little. She was very lost and hearing Jesus’ name fired her up a little more each moment. She couldn’t see him or feel him. Only I could.

I let go into his arms and his voice came through me. “I am here,” he said to her. His voice came through my entirety — like a loud boom that filled the room. My lips didn’t move and I wondered where he was actually speaking through.

“I am here, and I will help you. Feel the light and let it sink into you. It will dissolve all that makes you doubt your true power. You too are of this light. I am Jesus. You know me.”

I couldn’t tell if she was cracking or not. I had my doubts and my hopes. And, I was getting very tired from having the voice speaking through me. I was back inside my physical body.

She got off the bed and started to charge toward me in slow motion. I created an instant violet bubble around Doug and Dougie. I let that bubble grow and grow until they were completely protected. But, where was Jesus? My consciousness of him was in and out and I was becoming more tired.

“I won’t hurt you,” I  told her with my mind. “But, oh I will destroy YOU!” she said back to me. Her negative energy was taking my breath away. I was losing strength. I felt an urge to squish her. And I thought I could with my mind. But, that violet light was becoming stronger and more apparent. It was filling the room, and all it made me want to do is LOVE HER. I was sending her zaps of love, but they didn’t seem to fully reach her. I was very confused.

She became a black/grey smoke cloud within the violet light. And, with energy from my palms, I spun her around in spirals. Her doubt and her hatred were so debilitating to me. I was exhausted. And, that’s when Jesus came through me again. This time his words were so strange, I could barely understand them. All, I know is that he seemed to be repeating the same mantra until she was almost completely dissolved. And, she and I both swam around in the light spirals until the tiniest bit of grey/purple darkness entered my heart. I fell unconscious and imagined Jesus was taking care of the rest. I wanted to help. I wanted to know what was happening. But, I had never been so tired. All I could do was let go. When it was over I felt different.

Continue with part 2

Continue with part 3


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Letting Go – Blissful Beginnings Following My Reiki Master Attunement

By, Gina LaVerde

I’m a closet cleanser. Been addicted to cleansing most of my life. No, not “cleaning.” In fact – I can make a mother of a mess. But “cleansing” –like more of a profound changes kind of a thing.

I ritually purge closets and drawers of things we can do without.

A year ago, the two loves of my life, my Dougs, and I left Chi town for La La Land toting only our tiny Mercedes, my son’s Thomas trains, my massage table, our Vitamix and our clothes. My hubby didn’t bring any possessions. The car was his baby, and in June he gave that to his big bro.

We moved here because of a loud and clear vision and message I received from a spirit. It was so loud and clear that I called my hubby at work after I had it, and we began planning or bust-out immediately.

Possessions are nothing for us to giveaway.

It’s the people. And the ideas we have of people. And, our ideas of the ideas they have of us. And, the fear of moving beyond that, of course.

Last week, we went to a gathering, and this guy said to me “ Do you realize how many people work extra hard to avoid their true selves?”

Think about that – what if every moment that turns your stomach does so because it is taking you off your path? Because it is that struggle that keeps you feeling unwell, right? Isn’t it so that resistance or struggle frustrates the flying doo doo outa you?

So, what if you just let go? Ha! Easier said than done, right? Especially when it comes to thought patterns and life choices. Cleansing my life of possessions left me some free space, and gave me practice. But, wowza – did I not expect the pain and blessings that are shaping my moment.

The other day, I got another message. It said that if I don’t take care of things for myself, the universe is going to do it for me. Figure I better shape up and keep my eyes open. Roger that Sam! (Sam’s my spirit guy – I’ll talk more about him later).

My boys and I are planning a world tour. We’re home-schooling and want to give our son a cultural education. He needs it. He loves new experiences. But, we weren’t planning on leaving just yet. Then 3 things happened.

  • Our lease is ending
  • We got an offer to go somewhere else
  • Our landlord came up while we were sitting in candle-light and asked us to be quiet (significant because we weren’t making a peep)

Ok, I got this strange gut feeling when I opened the door. Now, I’m open to leave whenever we need to. Wfew!

But wait, this place is our new home, and the people who criticize us always remark about how we move so much. Ooh what will they say??? ( said my silly inner crtic)

So, that night in dreamland, I got to re-evaluate how I treat people, why I have recently lost friends, and why I was feeling frustrated. And I woke knowing that lots more changes were coming, I also woke with a “clean” perspective of the love in the hearts of the people with whom I have disconnected from. There was always a love n MY heart for them. But, you know what else I realized? I talk a lot!

Yes, I listen and yes I desire to know more about my friends. But not too many of them share with me as much (or even half as much) as I share with them. I woke knowing that I need to shut up a bit. But, more than that. Listen deeper. And, use my voice to reach more people. If my energy had been cooped up in wanting and yearning for something that doesn’t align with me, I’m wasting my energy.

We cannot afford to waste our energy. These are times when major positive shifts are happening. And, we cannot afford to be cooped up.  We owe. We owe. We re not “owed.”

On Saturday night, I had one of the most beautiful experiences of my life. I’ve been studying with Laura Bruno to become a Reiki Master Teacher. She has been the TRUEST teacher I have had so far, and I am so mega stoked that I Finally listened to that gut feeling and contacted her.

Saturday night was my attunement to this level of Reiki. And it was filled with visions and love and reassurance – and this new kind of KNOWING.

And then came the tornado of events that I didn’t take care of…that the universe took care of for me. “Harmless” people who I let too close (who had stolen and lied to me in the past) began doing it in a kicked-up manner. I could have let that go earlier in a more peaceful way. Nothing “bad” happened. No one was hurt. But, I really got the confirmation that people interpret words and actions how they want to based on the way they see things in life.

We need to connect with people who vibe with us.

See, it turns out that accepting lies (mostly because I told so many of them before) is one thing. But allowing that in my presence now will hinder my purpose.  And yours.

You can love and accept everyone. You can keep your promises; lend a hand and all that jazz. And you don’t even need “respect.” But, if someone is disrespectful to you – how can that help you along? How am I serving people if I allow them to speak negatively behind my back? This kind of energy hurts them too.

I have equated love and acceptance with allowing peeps to walk all over me. And, of course they don’t know it. I would never let them know it.

But, dig this – No one can really disrespect you or treat you in way you don’t like, unless you allow it. Have you heard this? Of course you have!

So, ultimately these situations were not about me letting go of particular people. But more like patterns of my own. I aligned with people who would do this to me. It’s taken me forever to REALLY REALLY appreciate and accept those people who I “think” have hurt me.

As I move on with teaching and coaching it is an absolute necessity that I’m True. And that means I can no longer lie to myself. So, now I let go of a judgment that I never realized I even had – a judgment of me. It was my inner voice wrongfully criticizing me for this and that. Other intuitive people just picked up on it and joined the bandwagon.

No one did anything “to” me. This life is really just an awesome game of experiences.

You can seriously crawl into a ball of Bliss on your fave couch and revel in this, because it’s true. These experiences are taking us somewhere better. Yup! Even better than this. And, I don’t wanna go too quick with it, because I really dig life. I really like to sink my teeth into these moments and enjoy them for every ounce of flavor they got.

Do you realize that by fully aligning with who you are, you inspire others to do the same? If you are angry – how can you re-align?

Let’s all let go of some self-inflicted judgment today. I hope it does you all as good as it does me. Plus all this letting go constantly leads to crazy cool abundancy.

We are so flippin blessed that we have the ability now to really be who we are, and to communicate at this level.

Goodness Gracious, soak it up!

Namaste You Gorgeous Soul


Image Credit: Fuzzyyol