I ran down the old Roman street so fast that my body began lifting off the road, and again I was flying. When I let go of the loss I felt for my life there and my husband I was sucked back into the light portal. I felt the colors cleansing me of pain left behind from Rome. I didn’t see the pain as details, but I felt it lifting. Pressure lifted from my head and limbs. I felt a sensation like being sucked through a vacuum.
And I was dropped into what looked like a shower, with blood all over the white curtains. It was my blood. I sat on the floor staring at my blood, knowing that my life was dripping from me — and flashes of people and experiences raced through my mind. My nephew came into the room to clean up some of the blood and report back to the killers, “no, she’s just faking it. she’s not really hurt.” They sent him in to clean up the mess of the stabbing — telling him that I must’ve slipped and fallen. He didn’t notice the hole in my chest. My husband appeared for a moment and he seemed to be arguing about the unfairness of how they were treating the dying me. He wanted blankets and warm water for me. I was shivering.
I had visions of ex-best-friends, ex-boyfriends and their mothers, family members and in-laws. I was drowsy. An old friend would appear in front of me, and I would ask for help only to realize they never really wanted to be my friend in the first place. An ex boyfriend’s mother appeared to help warm me up, as I was getting so cold. And, she made a remark about how happy she was that her son did not wind up with me. In an attempt to find some peace of mind before my last breath, I telepathically contacted my first-ever best friend. She told me that she had far better friends than me, and named them one by one.
I began to mentally understand the point that I was really dying and had been killed by a family member who just couldn’t accept my power anymore. I had many supernatural powers. So, I allowed my mind to take me someplace fun.
I found a red tricycle near the house of my first-ever best friend. I got on it and rode it like the wind. Yes, I had an adult body, but it was my child body that was riding the tricycle. I rode and rode laughing happily as passersby gawked at my old-fashioned Roman clothes. Some saw me as a non-sensical child, some saw me as a witch, some saw me as deranged. Two men who spent some extra time ridiculing me obviously saw me as all of these things and also very threatening. They whispered that I was very educated and powerful but that I didn’t know it. They had convinced the neighborhood that I was insane, and my little act of tricycle-riding would completely support that notion. So they laughed, and felt very accomplished.
I just kept riding, reading the minds and the intentions of everyone around me. I felt a deep scar from all of the times I tried to make these people my friends. I still didn’t understand the reasons behind their crimes toward me and a lot of me still wanted to look for those reasons. I was deeply emotionally wounded, and with each push of the pedal, I forced out the laughter that was underneath and it felt exhilarating.
Then there was Jesus. He told me with his mind that he was with me all along. “Keep riding,” he said. I rode and rode in spiral circles of light, feeling my heart warm up with his embrace.
I swallowed the violet light and felt it bringing me back to life. My spirit was again detached from my body, and the boys were still asleep — so I decided to see where the violet spirals would take me. At first, I began walking into the light. But, then my guide whispered — “ You can Fly.” And so I did.
I lifted my arms out like a bird and rode the spinning light waves through a long bright tunnel. Jesus was still with me, and I had so many questions for him, but it was as if he was telling me to wait until later.
Then suddenly, I fell through the tunnel onto the street. A brick-looking street. In the middle of the sunshiney day. I thought about how I had left at night, hmmmm. I was changed so much I feared looking at myself. I could tell right away that my hair was much longer and obviously matted from the trip. My shoes felt odd too.
I had an incredible urge to sing, dance and run down these gorgeous streets where men sold merchandise and food, and women walked chatting about their children. Horse-drawn carts were scattered about the way. Some filled with bread loaves or blankets, others carrying happy people. I saw a horse that I wanted to pet. A plump man with a curly grey beard shouted out about the blessedness of what he was selling. Everyone chimed along. I began to get a sense that everyone was selling something. And, everything looked tempting. There were lots of voices talking happiness and apparently also a small commotion going on in one corner of the street that seemed to upset some of the people.
I strolled down the street — my portal dissolved. (I half-wondered how I would get back to my life, but this was too great to miss). My sense of my guide was in and out, so I just had to take a risk and talk to these people.
I felt very much at home here. Elated actually. I ran first to the grey-bearded man selling bread and said “good day.” He smiled and looked as though he was going to offer me a loaf. I was kind of hyper and giddy by now. “Where are we,?” I asked. “What city are we in?” “Why, we’re in Rome. Rome. We are in Rome, lady!” A few other men next to him on the square chimed in, concerned that I didn’t know where I was. “Rome!” they said together.
I couldn’t believe it. I was in ROME! Oh wow! In my life as Gina, my guides told me we were going to Rome next. I had no idea it would be so soon. My heart filled with joy and gratitude. Oh Rome. The way it smelled so green and fresh. The sunshine, The people. The horses. The bread.
These men knew my name. And, they said it in Italian. I was slightly confused. “What does that mean?” I asked.
“Servant girl. It means servant girl.’ The plump guy told me. I looked down at my dirty legs and shoes. My beige/white dress with spots on it. I touched my matted hair. Nope, this was just from going through the portal. I am Gina, right?, I thought. The voice in my head told me I wasn’t Gina. But I blocked my name from coming, I didn’t want to know. I wasn’t going to get stuck there.
“ I am no servant!” I assured them “ I am… I am…” I wanted to tell them how smart I am and that I can do so much more than be a servant. But, then the small commotion of people who I noticed in the corner glared over at me. It was me they were looking for. I was escaping. And, I ran and ran and ran down those long narrow streets until I found my husband, Doug.
“Doug, we’re in Rome,” I said. But, he was old and slow. He knew we were in Rome and this was no big deal to him. “We live here,” he said. I felt a yearning for the adventurous Doug who I know when I am Gina. This one seemed so passive. I hugged and kissed him goodbye knowing that I was going to find him on the other side of my portal, but still feeling a loss that he couldn’t come with me. Before I left, he told me what year it was. And that I was 17.
Dreams are very important to me and my work. It is in our dreams that we let go of the human (3 dimensional world) limitations that keep us from knowing our true selves. As I travel my path and continue to help others on theirs, I thought it would be helpful to share some of my dreams with you. I’ve been so close to Jesus (in the most non-religious way imaginable) since I was a child. He has physically held me and guided me through the craziest and most confusing times. This post is not to offend anyone else’s interpretation of who Jesus is.
Last night, I lay stuck in my bed — completely unable to move. I had an eerie feeling in my gut. Doug and Dougie were cuddled up in the bed beside mine, snoozing perfectly, and I wanted so desperately to call to them and to be next to them. We’ve been sleeping in someone’s basement on 2 mattresses on the floor until while we finish our house on wheels. I was beginning to feel mentally exhausted from this and longing for that sense of HOME that was inches away from me. I tried lifting my head to no avail. My neck felt like lead. My forehead burned. Fear was creeping up from my feet to head, but I didn’t know exactly why. I tried lifting my hands, but a tremendous weight held me down. And my stomach sank even more.
Out of the half-open doorway came a woman who I knew to be myself. She looked quite evil though. And her hair was much longer. “I must be dreaming,” I thought. And, at that time, I realized that I REALLY could not speak. This wasn’t something temporary. I was screaming in my mind. If this was a dream, I was supposed to have a guide. I always have guides during my most painful dreams. “Where is my guide?” I thought very loudly. And, “why was I so afraid of myself?” And, “was she really me?” I could tell her intentions were dark.
She sat on the edge of the bed where my husband and son slept. And, she raised her hands above their heads, as if to put some dark spell on them. She stared directly at me the entire time. I bit my tongue. I do this in dreams to wake myself up in emergency cases. I felt the bite on my tongue, but it didn’t wake me. I knew I was sleeping too deeply. The pain I felt was in my mind only, because I couldn’t move. So, with the shadow-me staring me down and threatening my loved ones, I began to use my mind to hurt myself even more — with hopes of waking my physical body. I imagined pinching and scratching at my arms and squeezing my hands. That only worked to cause me more pain. I gave up trying to hurt myself.
At that moment I felt a warmth that told me I was being held by Jesus. And, I heard his voice. He assured me that the woman was me. My shadow. With him there, my fears began fading, but I still had to save my men. She continued hovering over Doug and Dougie with her ill intentions. Jesus held me more and filled me with a violet light that I knew I had to transfer to the shadow me. She understood my thoughts, so talking to her was unnecessary.
Again, I tried talking with my voice, only to become more drained and frustrated. My heart felt that this was some kind of test. I KNEW how to reach her without words or movement, but still I used up all of my physical strength and resources before I would even admit my other abilities to myself. Violet light seeped through my hand chakras to her heart. She didn’t budge. My spirit began lifting off my body. Jesus nodded and helped me as my soul peeled from the paralyzed flesh and bones on the bed. I didn’t want to fully let go. I kept resisting and having to start over. Then, finally I hovered over her. I expanded the violet light to create a bubble around her. She didn’t budge, but she still hadn’t hurt my guys, so I was gaining hope and confidence. “ You love Jesus,” I told her with my mind. She barely flinched. “ You love him and he is here to help you. He will comfort you.” She was getting fired up.
Jesus comforted me and told me I was doing a great job. But, we had to kick up the pace a little. She was very lost and hearing Jesus’ name fired her up a little more each moment. She couldn’t see him or feel him. Only I could.
I let go into his arms and his voice came through me. “I am here,” he said to her. His voice came through my entirety — like a loud boom that filled the room. My lips didn’t move and I wondered where he was actually speaking through.
“I am here, and I will help you. Feel the light and let it sink into you. It will dissolve all that makes you doubt your true power. You too are of this light. I am Jesus. You know me.”
I couldn’t tell if she was cracking or not. I had my doubts and my hopes. And, I was getting very tired from having the voice speaking through me. I was back inside my physical body.
She got off the bed and started to charge toward me in slow motion. I created an instant violet bubble around Doug and Dougie. I let that bubble grow and grow until they were completely protected. But, where was Jesus? My consciousness of him was in and out and I was becoming more tired.
“I won’t hurt you,” I told her with my mind. “But, oh I will destroy YOU!” she said back to me. Her negative energy was taking my breath away. I was losing strength. I felt an urge to squish her. And I thought I could with my mind. But, that violet light was becoming stronger and more apparent. It was filling the room, and all it made me want to do is LOVE HER. I was sending her zaps of love, but they didn’t seem to fully reach her. I was very confused.
She became a black/grey smoke cloud within the violet light. And, with energy from my palms, I spun her around in spirals. Her doubt and her hatred were so debilitating to me. I was exhausted. And, that’s when Jesus came through me again. This time his words were so strange, I could barely understand them. All, I know is that he seemed to be repeating the same mantra until she was almost completely dissolved. And, she and I both swam around in the light spirals until the tiniest bit of grey/purple darkness entered my heart. I fell unconscious and imagined Jesus was taking care of the rest. I wanted to help. I wanted to know what was happening. But, I had never been so tired. All I could do was let go. When it was over I felt different.
Originally published in 2011, But oh how relevant it still is!
A late night visit from the 3-D Ganesha helped clear my air last night and remind me of my path. Ganesha, the remover of obstacles (according to Hindu culture) appeared to me as I looked up from my near-sleep, and he simply smiled. He’d never shown himself so clearly to me before, so of course — I rubbed my eyes to look again. Read more →
Ever wonder how to connect deeper to the meanings behind your dreams? Or how about programming your mind to find specific answers in your dreams?
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You Can Do That too!
Dreaming is one way we can shut off the noise of our limiting thoughts and become ONE with our higher selves. There are layers of goodness, lessons and messages to be had from the dreams you already have. But there’s more.
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You Will Discover How To:
Decode the Messages in Your Current Dreams
Look at Your Dreams as a Shamanic Healing Device– Very Powerful
Map Your Dreams for Logical Patterns
These classes always offer much more than we can express in writing because the group dynamic heightens the vibration. We hope that you will be part of our group too!